Aiming to be happier families.

Be careful what you teach

A grandmother

Image via Wikipedia

The other day I watched an old woman with her grandchildren. They were obviously enjoying each other’s company and the little girl noticed a packet of sweets on the counter.

 “Can I have a sweetie Nana?” she asked

“Those are not my sweeties, they belong to Uncle Paul,” the old lady replied and the little girl frowned.

“You can have one,” the old lady continued, “but don’t tell Uncle Paul.” she said secretively.

 The little girl chose her sweet and danced happily away. The old lady turned to me and said, “They aren’t really Paul’s, I just tell her that so she only has one whenever she comes.”

The message to the child in the little scene above is:

  • It is ok to take something that doesn’t belong to you without asking the person it belongs to
  • It is ok to keep secrets
  • If Uncle Paul asks you if you had one of his sweets, you mustn’t tell him – it is ok to lie

If you want a child to have  one sweet, it is far better to say, “Yes you can have one sweetie, you choose which one you want.”

Note: The old lady however, grew up in a different era and I don’t know much about her up-bringing or values so I have no right to judge her need to lie to, deceive, or curry favour with her Grandchild .




10 July 2011 - Posted by | Parenting | , , , , , ,

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